(since I am posting regularly again now.)
today i feel disillusioned. i don't know what God wants, but I know that I desperately want God. My mom is very sick with her chemotherapy. The family is all over the place. I'm busy and slammed at work with crazy science projects. I can't get anything done artistically or with pink paint. Among other things....
Where am I going? How does God want to use my life? I don't know. I know that he has big things, I just feel so weird right now. Like tired, but not tired. You guys can't answer these things, I know, but pray that God will console my heart. It feels hurt and lost (not lost like seperate from God, lost like don't know where it is). I want to be great, but I know that I can't plan out how to live. My goal today is just to live and love God. I want to try to let everything else fall into place.
Institute for the Future
5 comments:
right on doc.
"i wish no chains upon you, wild flowers in the yard, good friends to send you mail. that change is coming hard. i wish warm rains upon you and snow like playing cards. i wish no chains upon you, but saying it isn't hard..."
(our pals, aloha)
Jimmy of the 33,
Man, I feel like I know exactly what you are going through. I am at a weird place right now myself. I feel so aimless here in seminary with two random jobs. It is weird. I don't have many friends here that I can actually talk to. Most of my relationships are superficial. How do I do better with that, I don't know.....
But I love you man, I am praying for you always.
Del of the 33, always and forever
oh yeah, how come you ain't got me linked on your blog....??? :( :(
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